I kind of knew you were there for the last two weeks but this morning I had confirmation for sure. Welcome! I hope the surrounds are warm, comfortable loving and safe.
I can't wait for you to meet your Daddy. He's just the best. The most handsome, loving, caring, funny (yet annoying) person you'll ever have the pleasure of loving.
I love how I am reminded of you constantly by the twinges of pain I have in my tummy and I hope you know I love you more than anything already. Love, your Mum.
There were two times Rory & I had sex during the time I was ovulating (or at the time guessed I was ovulating). Once at the beginning of my 'fertile time' and once at the end. The date of the sex we had at the end was on the 31st of May. I think this was when Little Pea was conceived. I thought it was too late for anything to happen. The sex was hot too!
I wanted to start trying for a baby. I'm 23 and I turn 24 in September this year, and I had it at the back of my head that it would take us years. My mother started trying when she was my age and didn't have her first succesful pregnany when she was 32. So before I proceed with this blog, and even this entry I just want to say - I'm taking this pregnancy with a grain of salt. I'm going to look after myself in every way possible, but I understand there are risks and it's early days yet.
Back to my sex story (LOL) Rory made a comment at the time 'Wow... What if you get pregnant'. I smiled, a little flutter in my tummy and thought, 'No way, it'll take us ages. I know it.' So technically we only tried twice. And I got pregnant. Unreal!
The following weekend of the 6th I was in Hobart at Al's house and watching the Sex & the City movie for the first time. Al & Kate (and Al's friend Heather) convinced me to go grab an early pregnancy test because 'Yay, we're girls, watching girly films eating cake!' and it came up negative. But I had a feeling. I dismissed it and enjoyed the night, and at the back of my head felt quite disappointed.
That weekend I was in Hobart to drop my parent's off at the airport to go to Europe. I had already made a little wish in my head to be pregnant by the time they got back.
After I dropped my parents off at the airport I simply couldnt move. I was so tired. So completely and utter bushed I went home and went straight to bed. It was 3pm.
I was meant to drive to the East Coast and meet Rory that afternoon. Rory phoned me when I was driving back from the airport and asked where I was (he thought I was coming back in the mornign) and I said I had been planning on driving up that afternoon but for some reason I "felt so incredibly tired. I can imagine this is how having chronic fatigue would feel like" I said.
I couldn't leave until the next morning and as soon as I arrived to Rory's parents house I was back on the couch. That night I went to Rory's sister's house who gushed immediately when I told her of my strange symptom. "You're pregnant!" she squealed.
She had only given birth to her second baby two weeks earlier. I peeped in to see new little baby Felix as he was sleeping and I couldn't believe how perfect he looked. Rory and I joked about it and picked up a baby name book and we spent the evening picking out names.
These last two weeks have been strange. I've been moody, tired, and the biggest indicator was cramps (and no period!). My boobs are bigger and as of today tender. I also had a bit of leukorrhea today too. I was so paranoid, I felt it suddenly in my pants like I wet myself (sorry TMI) and went and checked thinking it was blood, that I'd gotten my period and only had a 'chemical pregnancy' or whatever they're called. I wasn't sure what it was until I looked in one of the pregnancy books I had gone and bought in a fit of adrenaline after seeing the result of my pregnancy test.
Today was the day of a BBQ party for our friends Kieran and Clara who are moving to France to live for a few years. This morning in bed lying in eachothers arms (post-coitus!) I told Rory I thought I was pregnant. He swore black and blue there was no wasy I could be pregnant, so I held in my morning wee and went to the shop and bought a pregnany test. I couldn't wait to prove him wrong! Although I did still have my doubts, and there was no way of denying that second line that appeared on the pee stick. Clear and bright as day!
I brought it into Rory who was shaving in the bathroom. "Rory," I called in a sing-song voice, "Guess who is pregnant!" He grinned at me. "We technically only tried two times," I commented. "Fuck I'm potent!" he yelled. Haha, what a loser.
It's been a weird day for the both of us . Rory is a worrier. I can guarantee this is what he's thinking:
"Oh my god, I'm going to be a dad! Wow, this is exciting. A little baby. Argh... Does this mean I'm trapped?! I have to grow up! I have to provide, and care for a vulnerable little thing! How do I do this? CHANGE. Scary!!! Scary, scary change. What if I stop loving Linda. I can never sleep with another person again. OMG I hope she doesn't start talking about marriage. TRAPPED. I'm okay. I'm just scared. Change is normal, people feel like this all the time. People feel like this all the time..? Right? God, what is Linda going to expect of me? Can I still drink, play games, and have friends? Is my life down the drain? Wow... I'm going to be a dad. A cute little baby and will love me and we'll have a happy little family. OH MY FUCK I'M FREAKING OUT!"
Poor kid. He is clucky; cluckier than me even. But as I say he's a worrier. I don't think he feels trapped, but I think that he's worried he's GOING to feel trapped so in turn he ends up feeling trapped anyway.
Well, I'm leaving you with a couple of photos. One of me and one of Rory.
Do you know my embryo's heart is right now beating 80 beats per minute?
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