Lovely!

I've had sharp pains in my abdomen all day which I have been a little worried about.
Turns out I just needed to really, REALLY fart.

Lovely!

Not Stupid

At work at the moment and I'm pretty darn pooped. I guess that's normal. I had the worst coffee-comedown headaches on Sunday but they've disappeared now which is great. I used to live on coffee at work. I'm just drinking decaf tea and herbal tea.
I've joined BabyGaga and started posting on the forums... This still feels so very surreal. I guess it will start sinking in once I start showing (although I'm bloated and my tummy is hard).

Rory and I had our first doctor's appointment last night. I thought the doctor would weigh me, give me an exam, and actually test that I'm pregnant herself, but no! I got a flu shot, booked an appointment on the 23rd of July for the obstetrician and then I went along to pathology to have some blood drawn. Rory got a prescription to get the vaccination for whooping cough. Although Rory didn't take the pregnancy thing all that well to begin with it's sweet to see him get excited.

I went to the gym last night after I gave blood and did a moderate 30 minute workout - just on the elliptical, rower & treadmill. I did a few isometric exercises too. I'm not sure what the go is with crunches I think it's pretty safe in the early stages so I just did 3 sets of 10 reps (10 working the front, then 10 on each side). I got a boost of energy after the gym and went up to visit a couple of friends who are moving to France today. They are both excited for us, but poor Kieran said he's freaking out because "everything feels weird and different... We're leaving, you're pregnant... it's all changing. Ahh!". Poor kid. He'll love it though. I promised I'll send photos of my growing belly and keep them updated constantly.

I weighed myself this morning expecting to see a jump, but no - I'm down to 64kg (141 pounds). I read online that it's pretty common to lose weight during early pregnancy as you focus on being healthier and I ate about 1700 calories yesterday.

Is it wrong to count calories while I'm pregnant?

I'm not restricting by any means but I'm not going to go silly and gorge on chocolate and fried food (blech... the thought just makes my stomach turn).

Rory got a bit angry at my when he saw my little notepad that I use to count calories. He knows I have issues with eating and my history with bulimia. I said to him "I would kill myself before I harm the baby!" We both stopped and gave each other a funny look. "I mean," I said, "I kill you before I kill our baby!" Hah.

I'm not stupid. The next 7 1/2 months aren't about me. It's about ensuring my body is the best host possible for our little pea. I'll get stretch marks and fat, and feel horrible but I don't care and it won't stop me from being healthy and exercising because Little Pea is my number one concern.

I'm still going to go to yoga and I'm going to start the yoga for pregnancy classes which run on a late Sunday afternoon. It's funny because I stopped yoga for a few weeks and when I started again (before I knew I was pregnant) I couldn't understand why I was so darn flexible. But of course, it's because all my tendons and ligaments are stretching. Little did I know!

Rory and I have already picked a name if it's a boy (we did this months ago). We both love the name Frank. It's Rory's Dad's name and I love diminutive of it - Frankie. I bought a baby name book but I haven't had a chance to look at it yet.

Okay, time to get back to work. And eat something!

Bush Spew

Another day done and dusted. My god I'm exhausted.

I really can't believe how tired I am. I went for a long walk today into town and picked out an aqua blue coloured yarn to start knitting a baby blanket. On the walk home I took a detour through the Trevallyn Steps. The steps wind up to the top of the Cateract Gorge and when I normally take this route I jog up the stairs. Today I had to stop 4 times to catch my breath and allow my heart to slow down. My legs felt like lead!

Cramps have subsided today but I spent about 5 minutes on the side of the road dry-reaching into a bush while I was on my walk. My stomach feels like it has shrunk so I can only eat a small amount at a time other wise I just vomit it back into my mouth. I did a bit of light jogging on my walk but then I got indigestion. Bloody hell!

I'm surprised at how encompassing this whole pregnancy thing is. It's effecting every aspect of me and on top of that I just can't stop thinking about it. Argh! It's the first and last thing on my mind at every single moment of the day. Is that normal?

I haven't told Mum yet. I sent her a message asking her to call me but not a peep yet. I wonder how she'll react?

It seems to be sinking in for Rory and I've been catching him grinning at me excitedly. He got reaaallly drunk last night and kinda had a freak out, and woke me up talking about wanting to sleep with other girls and feeling trapped, but meh - I think that's a fairly normal feeling.

I keep getting whiffs of the strangest scents that are just so intensely strong. Half of the smells I can't even describe - they're so bizarre. One was a mix of burning plastic/gas, then at the BBQ yesterday all I could smell was sewage, my BO makes my stomach turn and smells SO incredibly strong (when Rory couldn't smell it at all), the vegatable stirfry I cooked tonight smelt like aniseed (WTF?!). It's kind of fun just because it's so unique and a different experience.

I saw a baby in town today and I cried. I saw a pair of cute baby booties and cried. I picked out the yarn for the blanket and cried at the thought of my baby snuggling up with it. This. Is. Intense.

Yay! Mum just phoned. She's over the moon and so is my Step-Dad. Mum and I both started crying on the phone, lol. She told me when she was pregnant with Amir she had the world's most intense craving for marinated capsicum so she sat and ate a whole can until she made herself sick. Then she couldn't bare the smell, look or taste of it for a long time.

Mum kept stressing over and over how careful I need to be, and I quote: "No jumping up and down, and it's time to stop having wild nights... and those kind of 'wild nights'" Haha, thanks Mum. I love you. "You're going to have trouble keeping me away," she said before we hung up. I'm so glad. It sounds like they're having fun in France. She'll be home around the 10th of August.

Okay, I am busting for a wee and I'm going to do some yoga.

Okay, I'm going to do

Pea in my Pod

Hello Little Pea,

I kind of knew you were there for the last two weeks but this morning I had confirmation for sure. Welcome! I hope the surrounds are warm, comfortable loving and safe.

I can't wait for you to meet your Daddy. He's just the best. The most handsome, loving, caring, funny (yet annoying) person you'll ever have the pleasure of loving.

I love how I am reminded of you constantly by the twinges of pain I have in my tummy and I hope you know I love you more than anything already. Love, your Mum.

There were two times Rory & I had sex during the time I was ovulating (or at the time guessed I was ovulating). Once at the beginning of my 'fertile time' and once at the end. The date of the sex we had at the end was on the 31st of May. I think this was when Little Pea was conceived. I thought it was too late for anything to happen. The sex was hot too!

I wanted to start trying for a baby. I'm 23 and I turn 24 in September this year, and I had it at the back of my head that it would take us years. My mother started trying when she was my age and didn't have her first succesful pregnany when she was 32. So before I proceed with this blog, and even this entry I just want to say - I'm taking this pregnancy with a grain of salt. I'm going to look after myself in every way possible, but I understand there are risks and it's early days yet.

Back to my sex story (LOL) Rory made a comment at the time 'Wow... What if you get pregnant'. I smiled, a little flutter in my tummy and thought, 'No way, it'll take us ages. I know it.' So technically we only tried twice. And I got pregnant. Unreal!

The following weekend of the 6th I was in Hobart at Al's house and watching the Sex & the City movie for the first time. Al & Kate (and Al's friend Heather) convinced me to go grab an early pregnancy test because 'Yay, we're girls, watching girly films eating cake!' and it came up negative. But I had a feeling. I dismissed it and enjoyed the night, and at the back of my head felt quite disappointed.

That weekend I was in Hobart to drop my parent's off at the airport to go to Europe. I had already made a little wish in my head to be pregnant by the time they got back.

After I dropped my parents off at the airport I simply couldnt move. I was so tired. So completely and utter bushed I went home and went straight to bed. It was 3pm.

I was meant to drive to the East Coast and meet Rory that afternoon. Rory phoned me when I was driving back from the airport and asked where I was (he thought I was coming back in the mornign) and I said I had been planning on driving up that afternoon but for some reason I "felt so incredibly tired. I can imagine this is how having chronic fatigue would feel like" I said.

I couldn't leave until the next morning and as soon as I arrived to Rory's parents house I was back on the couch. That night I went to Rory's sister's house who gushed immediately when I told her of my strange symptom. "You're pregnant!" she squealed.

She had only given birth to her second baby two weeks earlier. I peeped in to see new little baby Felix as he was sleeping and I couldn't believe how perfect he looked. Rory and I joked about it and picked up a baby name book and we spent the evening picking out names.

These last two weeks have been strange. I've been moody, tired, and the biggest indicator was cramps (and no period!). My boobs are bigger and as of today tender. I also had a bit of leukorrhea today too. I was so paranoid, I felt it suddenly in my pants like I wet myself (sorry TMI) and went and checked thinking it was blood, that I'd gotten my period and only had a 'chemical pregnancy' or whatever they're called. I wasn't sure what it was until I looked in one of the pregnancy books I had gone and bought in a fit of adrenaline after seeing the result of my pregnancy test.

Today was the day of a BBQ party for our friends Kieran and Clara who are moving to France to live for a few years. This morning in bed lying in eachothers arms (post-coitus!) I told Rory I thought I was pregnant. He swore black and blue there was no wasy I could be pregnant, so I held in my morning wee and went to the shop and bought a pregnany test. I couldn't wait to prove him wrong! Although I did still have my doubts, and there was no way of denying that second line that appeared on the pee stick. Clear and bright as day!

I brought it into Rory who was shaving in the bathroom. "Rory," I called in a sing-song voice, "Guess who is pregnant!" He grinned at me. "We technically only tried two times," I commented. "Fuck I'm potent!" he yelled. Haha, what a loser.

It's been a weird day for the both of us . Rory is a worrier. I can guarantee this is what he's thinking:

"Oh my god, I'm going to be a dad! Wow, this is exciting. A little baby. Argh... Does this mean I'm trapped?! I have to grow up! I have to provide, and care for a vulnerable little thing! How do I do this? CHANGE. Scary!!! Scary, scary change. What if I stop loving Linda. I can never sleep with another person again. OMG I hope she doesn't start talking about marriage. TRAPPED. I'm okay. I'm just scared. Change is normal, people feel like this all the time. People feel like this all the time..? Right? God, what is Linda going to expect of me? Can I still drink, play games, and have friends? Is my life down the drain? Wow... I'm going to be a dad. A cute little baby and will love me and we'll have a happy little family. OH MY FUCK I'M FREAKING OUT!"

Poor kid. He is clucky; cluckier than me even. But as I say he's a worrier. I don't think he feels trapped, but I think that he's worried he's GOING to feel trapped so in turn he ends up feeling trapped anyway.

Well, I'm leaving you with a couple of photos. One of me and one of Rory.

Do you know my embryo's heart is right now beating 80 beats per minute?

It's so late.  I should be in bed. Instead I felt compelled to write my blog. First time ever. 

I'm actually watching Jerry Springer sitting in my undies. This is great.  I haven't watched it for years. 

Pregnant women bitch fighting. This is a good quality night in folks.